Mar Romera: ‘Our children don’t learn from what we teach them, but from what we do’

The renowned educator, a national expert in emotional intelligence, visited the British school Caxton College and gave a conference titled ‘Educating Without Instructions’

Mar Romera believes that the world isn’t full of people who make mistakes, but rather of cowards who are afraid to try. With the authority of more than 30 years of experience in the world of education at all levels, from early years to university, this teacher of teachers and researcher maintains a critical and emotional line of reasoning that stirs consciences wherever she goes. She calls herself an ‘education hacker’ because she believes that to be able to innovate in the field of education, it is necessary to deconstruct what has been institutionalised.

Emotional Excellence

‘We must bear in mind that children learn from us. This is why the most important thing we can do is to be a good example for them’. Ms Romera went on to say that families often blame schools, the education system, teachers or technology for their children’s problems, when the real source of the problem is that children don’t receive the affection, time and care that they need to be able to develop and evolve correctly. For this reason, Ms Romera insisted that what children truly need is to feel admired and supported by their families. That is what allows their brains to be prepared for learning.

After this first diagnosis, she said, ‘Emotional excellence must be present in our children’s education. Education is like cooking: if we want it to turn out well, we must dedicate time, physical presence, common sense and respect’. She emphasised how important it is for children to learn to fail and not always be successful, because ‘failure can only be overcome with values, and values are learned by experience; they cannot be taught’, she explained.

Teachers

This fan of J.K. Rowling admitted that ‘the most difficult and important profession in the world is teaching. Teachers are both the strength and weakness of education. In this profession, there are both wizards and dementors, like in Harry Potter, but fortunately the army of good teachers prevails’. Along these lines, she specified that families and schools must be in contact to ensure they are working toward the same goals. ‘Children need an emotionally balanced role model, and if they find it both at home as well as at school, everything will work better’.

AI in the Classroom

‘Technology, social media and the content that is published are all criticised, but the true problem is that devices are programmed by the big technology firms to be addictive. That format is destroying the immature brains of our young people’, she said. She therefore considers that children aged two to three should never have access to a screen because its use is as dangerous as tobacco. Additionally, parents should not use screens in front of them.

Regarding the use of Artificial Intelligence in classrooms, she was more generous. ‘I tell my master’s degree students that if they don’t use ChatGPT, I will fail them’, joked Ms Romera. She considers that generative AI is a perfect complement to the human being. ‘Machines have an excellent memory, they find information quickly, but they’re not creative nor imaginative, which is why we complement one another’, she concluded.

Education Without Instructions

For Ms Romera, the educational challenge of this century is to know how to help students to ‘feel by thinking and think by feeling’. Young children as well as adolescents need adults to listen to them without any interference, without technology. ‘We have to tune in to them emotionally in order to bond with them, and time is therefore the greatest gift we can give them’.

The educational specialist insisted that it’s necessary to instruct children and accompany them throughout life, starting as soon as possible, to show them the obstacles that exist so that they know how to overcome them, without being overprotective. ‘I can’t choose the circumstances of my life, but I can choose to deal with them positively and try to change them for the better, no matter how difficult they may be’. Additionally, she said, ‘We are in a race for success, and sometimes we have been led to believe that success and happiness is the same thing, because that’s what the top brands sell us’. However, she explained that we often confuse pleasure, which is transitory and based on having, with happiness, which is lasting and based on giving. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why Spain is ‘the country in the world that consumes the most tranquilisers’.