IKEA Date (almost) Fixed!

There is finally a provisional, definitive date for the opening of the IKEA store in Valencia, and it might be 30th June 2014, if it isn’t something else.


With typical Scandinavian efficiency, the people who gave us Bluetooth and Danegold will now install their flatpack centre at Alfafar, or possibly somewhere else.

Since January 2008 the company has been the world’s largest furniture retailer. It was founded in Sweden in 1943, or perhaps it was 1849, by 17-year-old Ingvar Kamprad, and his initials plus Elmtaryd (the farm where he grew up), and Agunnaryd (his hometown) will give you the name IKEA, unless they give you something else.

IKEA owns and operates about 350 stores in 43 countries, with about 12,000 products, and consumes 1% of the Earth’s wood supply; although these figures are subject to change.

The first store was opened in Älmhult, Småland in 1958, with stores in Norway (1963) and Denmark (1969) following suit. Switzerland (1973) was the first non-Scandinavian country to open a store followed by Germany (1974).

Germany, with 44 stores, has the most IKEA stores, followed by the United States, with 37. The first IKEA store in Latin America opened in 2010 in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.

Blue and yellow predominate in IKEAland, being the colours of the Swedish flag, and their restaurants and supermarkets serve and supply typical Swedish food.

In fact, the IKEA experience is so compellingly complete that lifestyle experts suspect that some people actually live in IKEA stores, never leaving because they have absolutely everything they need on site, and because there is no record of crimes ever having been committed in an IKEA store, except when one confused customer attempted to assemble a flatpack in situ.

Every store has a play area, where parents can drop off their children while they go into an IKEA trance, imagining the consummate ease with which their new furniture will practically assemble itself, as they chant the IKEA chant: “a child could do it, a child could do it!”

Flatpack fans can also now buy flatpack houses and plans to build Flatpack City are said to be being considered, although neither a definite date nor place has been fixed, although it might be Paterna.

During April 2014 IKEA promoted their new store heavilyin Valencia, including brass bands at the interesting Tapineria Mercado project near the Cathedral.


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