The Black Turtle

I’d never eaten turtle, and never found them especially attractive and so I thought I’d help reduce the population a bit and try some.
It turned out that the Black Turtle doesn’t actually serve turtle, but specializes in burgers, although I decided to stay anyway.

Perhaps it was the philosophy that helped overcome my disappointment. I can never resist a restaurant that plasters its walls with philosophy; I would have been a pushover in Ancient Greece.

As is the case with philosophy, and you can check with Socrates about this, you have to be careful when ordering here. I ordered the special fries as a side order, and found myself facing practically a complete English breakfast, of chips struggling with an avalanche of bacon and egg.
The burger was also fairly large and it took a hefty dose of self-indulgence to get through it.
The burger menu is quite interesting, and I would have liked to sample the Brit Burger, or the Texas, Mustard, Paradise (with fruit inevitably) or Posh burgers, but that will have to wait for another day.
The aubergine chips were interesting, made with deep fried thin slices of aubergine, a tasty alternative to potato.
The burgers were served on black slates, another obvious reference to Ancient Greece and to the fundamentally educational nature of this restaurant.
Surprisingly there were no German burgers, which is perplexing because as everyone knows, the hamburger was invented in Hamburg, Germany, and not in the USA as everyone who isn’t a know-all believes.
Anyway, I’m still a bit annoyed with this place; I was hoping for something more politically incorrect when I ordered side orders of Buffalo Wings and Turtle Nachos, but no, not a single slice of either animal was to be found on my plate.
One thing about the Black Turtle, you won’t leave hungry, and you probably won’t be hungry that evening either, nor the following day.
My particular meal was at the Black Turtle in Plaza Xuquer, although I’m assured that there is another one in Calle Sueca, and also in Jávea, Alicante, in the Plaza de la Iglesia.

In fact, since writing this article, theis Valencian restaurant chain has expanded and now has restaurants in Madrid Xátiva, Sagunto and Castellón, as well as several new or planned restaurants in Valencia.

But of course, when reading a restaurant review, what people really want to know is, what about the philosophy?
Well, it’s deep, really deep, and so perhaps this is not the place to get into it; but if I whisper the words: “life is too short for bad food” or “Learn More. Do More. Be More” you get the idea, but if you decide to visit the Black Turtle, unlike Oliver, you will not be asking for more, more, more.