If you’re looking for peace and quiet and a horse with no name (or at least it didn’t answer when I asked) then Granja San Miguel could be the place for you.
You’ll find it at Salem, which has been cleared of witches for some time now as far as I know, and is an oasis of tranquillity in an area that is also an oasis of tranquillity, far from the madding crowds and the big city rumble.
Salem, which may or may not have lent its name to the bewitched one in Massachusetts, is a small town in the Vall d’Albaida, under the looming presence of the Benicadell mountain.
On the edge of town there is a light that is the Granja de San Miguel run by the effervescent María Jesús.
Here you can pass the time looking over the odds and ends that she has collected after a lifetime of public service (the real public service of running restaurants) or reading the interesting slogans on the walls.
You can also parlay with the peacock or gabble with the goat, enjoying a beer on her terrace, watching the fish in her pond, which are scarily tame and practically rise out of the water looking for snacks, as our ancestors did.
The dining room is also charmingly cosy and the food is special, especially the duck and wild mushroom noodle dish (a variation on fideua).
To begin with you are brought bread with tomato sauce (the real stuff I hasten to add) and garlic mayonnaise.
If you hold back long enough you can devour the ‘mojama’ (filleted salt-cured tuna dating back to the Phoenicians), and dried tomato salad.
Then there is a cod sauce with raisins, which tastes better than it looks or sounds.
Speaking of looking, you can if you wish send back the broken plate, only to discover that it’s designed that way, leaving you muttering into your crumbs that you no longer understand the modern world that you had once embraced with such enthusiasm.
Granja San Miguel also offers rural accomodation and a whole host of activities such as spa, massage, pool, horse riding and various special such as the Borgia supper, which presumably doesn’t involve the Borgian speciality of poisoning your guests and political rivals.
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